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Ten ways to know that one roommate. Ladies…hope you can relate!

roommate

roommate

1. She has a fake accent
You don’t know if she is forming  British or American or Australian  or yoruba-ish( for all my jenifa lovers ????). All you know is she sounds funny especially  on phone.????
2. She knows everything
I mean everything  from the best rooms to the coolest people to the best food to eat or clothes to wear.  She is a walking encyclopedia. But we all know she doesn’t  know how to spell “weird ” ????
3. Everything knows her
Permit me to say everyone in this case. You are taking a walk with her and she stops to greet  almost everyone who comes your  way. You notice how she smiles and waves and once their backs are turned,  she starts giving you their  latest gossips. Osheey Linda ikeji????
4. She always complains she is too fat
Epp me please,  she is probably a size  8 while you are like a size 12 and she keeps saying things like, “I’m getting fatter”????. Getting fatter bawo?
5. She always  complains she is getting too thin
???? Really  nigga? You know her by her crash diets, not eating all day except maybe a once. She’s  been doing this for  a couple of months now and she expects her ass to get bigger?
6. Every guy you know wants to do her
That moment when  your friend  asks you ” How far that your roommate? ” with  that dirty grin on his face. Its not like you care or anything, he’s a friend. But the one that kills you is when bae has the same look on his face when he asks about her too. ????
7. You know she is dating, but you cant tell if its  Chidera or Jibola.
I think that statement explains enough. On instagram  she’s telling 5 brothers. ” Nice pic bae????”, while you are here chilling for Temi in Ahmadu Bello University  to call you… ????
8. All her wears are “Designer”
I love panda tho????. But my sister takes it too far. Her bag… Gucci,  shoes… Louboutin, where she bought her clothes… Dubai????. She’s a walking runway.  But we all know her dad is a police officer so I wonder where all this is coming from.
9. She is all your roomates “padi”
You don’t know how she does it,  but today she is chisom’s makeup artsit,  tomorrow suwa’s cook,  the day after that she is giving Oyin relationship  advice.  But if there is anything  true about her friendship,  it lasts only for a day????.
10. She is forever entertaining
If she isn’t talking about something  or someone, ask her if she checked  her HIV status????. Don’t oo. She is a walking  news hub and she can never  be without the latest gist in school.
We all know this roommate  and we may love her or hate her but I wouldn’t  want to know what it feels like not to have her. I mean, how boring would my room be? ????
by Naza

 

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